Thanksgiving
I want to remember the real. I want to remember how much of my time is spent asking what else I can be doing... how can I be supporting you girls...what areas need to be developed.
How I think through the things that impress me and delight me about your little lives and hearts. And how I also think through what challenges you face and what ways I can be supporting and championing you.
and in the flow of our normal lives, of the sweetness of our daily moments there are moments that emerge - more like an explosion and I have no idea where it came from. This week has been such a challenging week- each girl going through their own issues...
And it is so crazy how kind, loving, creative and sweet my daughter can be and then how embarrassed I am when her anger comes out and she intentionally tries to hurt her friends and sister with her words.
Thanksgiving was at our house this year and I had all kinds of holiday cheer as I planned and prepared and felt really peaceful, thankful and joyful for our girls, our lives, our families and our friends that are like family.
Not having the older two was helpful to just sail through the day getting all the things done I needed to have our home ready, prepared and food all on time.
But when the girls got home and we kicked into the last 45 minutes- every.minute.counts. And everything seemed to be going so smoothly down to Macy's thanksgiving parade playing in my bedroom so the girls could see it.
Having everyone sit down and serving dinner was a feat, but we pulled that off. 10 adults and 11 children. Two sweet babes in the mix. Lots of kids bantering who they want to sit by and what they want to eat.
One of my little ones just lost it after the meal. Could not pull herself together- I spent the better part of the holiday just trying to help her get out of her anger, her tantrums- probably 6-8 breaks with me. Another daughter fighting and working through issues with one of the other kids. The hours went by with me holding screaming, fighting, threatening, hurting little girls.
So much as my little positive heart wants to spin the Holiday into a joyous occasion- it was just plain hard. It was exhausting, sad, draining and very little moment of let down for this mama. The mama that had planned all these fun games- pilgrims and indians and hunting turkeys and planting corn...things that we did not even get to because I was holding screaming girls. The Mama that had hummed and made pies for three hours excited to set the stage for holiday memory making.
Stage set. play failed.
I slipped into bed exhausted and ready to let that day just slide behind me and say to myself that I earned another mama badge- the badge you get with a flopped holiday even when you tried your hardest.
we somehow snagged this pic- which is one of our best in this season on this fateful night...
How I think through the things that impress me and delight me about your little lives and hearts. And how I also think through what challenges you face and what ways I can be supporting and championing you.
and in the flow of our normal lives, of the sweetness of our daily moments there are moments that emerge - more like an explosion and I have no idea where it came from. This week has been such a challenging week- each girl going through their own issues...
And it is so crazy how kind, loving, creative and sweet my daughter can be and then how embarrassed I am when her anger comes out and she intentionally tries to hurt her friends and sister with her words.
Thanksgiving was at our house this year and I had all kinds of holiday cheer as I planned and prepared and felt really peaceful, thankful and joyful for our girls, our lives, our families and our friends that are like family.
But when the girls got home and we kicked into the last 45 minutes- every.minute.counts. And everything seemed to be going so smoothly down to Macy's thanksgiving parade playing in my bedroom so the girls could see it.
Having everyone sit down and serving dinner was a feat, but we pulled that off. 10 adults and 11 children. Two sweet babes in the mix. Lots of kids bantering who they want to sit by and what they want to eat.
One of my little ones just lost it after the meal. Could not pull herself together- I spent the better part of the holiday just trying to help her get out of her anger, her tantrums- probably 6-8 breaks with me. Another daughter fighting and working through issues with one of the other kids. The hours went by with me holding screaming, fighting, threatening, hurting little girls.
So much as my little positive heart wants to spin the Holiday into a joyous occasion- it was just plain hard. It was exhausting, sad, draining and very little moment of let down for this mama. The mama that had planned all these fun games- pilgrims and indians and hunting turkeys and planting corn...things that we did not even get to because I was holding screaming girls. The Mama that had hummed and made pies for three hours excited to set the stage for holiday memory making.
Stage set. play failed.
I slipped into bed exhausted and ready to let that day just slide behind me and say to myself that I earned another mama badge- the badge you get with a flopped holiday even when you tried your hardest.
we somehow snagged this pic- which is one of our best in this season on this fateful night...
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