seizing the moment...
In the flurry of three girls and doing their hair, packing their lunches, making sure each one gets a chance to talk... it is almost a discipline to pause and make that moment. The moment where you need to highlight something... celebrate a small but mighty victory, pull one of them in close to whisper love and encouragement in their ear...these pauses are so important. so very important.
This motherhood dance is so delicate. I think about how real it is to keep the ship running- all the cooking, laundry, putting clothes away, disciplining, playing with them, grocery shopping, home work, and yet so acutely aware that I want push past these surface things and really see my daughters. Be in tune with their needs.
Sophia cuddled up so close to me and looking me in my eyes and telling me of a painful interaction she had at school. My heart melting that she feels safe. That she curls up and shares her sadness and i can be sad with her. And yet i also get to kiss her, hug her, love on her through it all. What a privilege.
Layla coming home completely buzzing because she gathered her team for a battle. Wait what. I Pray silently - give me eyes to see, Jesus. Her friend hurt her and she was afraid of getting hit ( or maybe just hurting from the rejection ) and rallied 7 friends to be on her team. ouch. I can feel her sense of triumph. OF feeling so loved by all these children who were on her side. Tread lightly, Mama, she was hurt and is looking for others to validate her. So I pull her in close and laugh and kiss her and try and unpack this interaction. I pray and gently try and ask questions to help her see that what she did could really isolate and hurt her other friend.
Two year old glory, Hope. She has me completely in love. She is adorable, surging in her opinions and personality and I forget how fun it is to see the world through a 2 year olds eyes. From an almost 5 years olds eyes. from a almost 7 year olds eyes. She pulled up a chair, swung her leg to sit through the armrest side and told me she was my teecher. She kept asking me if i wanted ice cream, even though I kept asking my teacher what I was going to learn today. lots of ice cream. lots and lots.
.......
Had a moment during the clinic this week. A girl around 11,12 ran up to me and hugged me. She was a young one that I had met over three years ago. She is an orphan from the way, scrappy, cute, sassy and funny. After her parents were killed during a bombing she lived with an Uncle who beat her. She fled from Syria and made it here to live with another Aunt.
The neediness and desperateness in her presence to be seen and loved is so palpable. It pains me. I try and lavish on her, looking her in the eyes, speaking kindly and paying her extra attention. She laps it up... like a dry land that needs water. This time i went further and pulled her in and prayed over her. I spoke life over her... and i know it is just one small thing. I know that it so tiny compared to the pain she has endured or the current state of loneliness and longing. But man, I want to give her deep love when I can. To seize that moment and not let the demands of other things distract me from letting her seen and awknowldeged in the place she is in.
This motherhood dance is so delicate. I think about how real it is to keep the ship running- all the cooking, laundry, putting clothes away, disciplining, playing with them, grocery shopping, home work, and yet so acutely aware that I want push past these surface things and really see my daughters. Be in tune with their needs.
Sophia cuddled up so close to me and looking me in my eyes and telling me of a painful interaction she had at school. My heart melting that she feels safe. That she curls up and shares her sadness and i can be sad with her. And yet i also get to kiss her, hug her, love on her through it all. What a privilege.
Layla coming home completely buzzing because she gathered her team for a battle. Wait what. I Pray silently - give me eyes to see, Jesus. Her friend hurt her and she was afraid of getting hit ( or maybe just hurting from the rejection ) and rallied 7 friends to be on her team. ouch. I can feel her sense of triumph. OF feeling so loved by all these children who were on her side. Tread lightly, Mama, she was hurt and is looking for others to validate her. So I pull her in close and laugh and kiss her and try and unpack this interaction. I pray and gently try and ask questions to help her see that what she did could really isolate and hurt her other friend.
Two year old glory, Hope. She has me completely in love. She is adorable, surging in her opinions and personality and I forget how fun it is to see the world through a 2 year olds eyes. From an almost 5 years olds eyes. from a almost 7 year olds eyes. She pulled up a chair, swung her leg to sit through the armrest side and told me she was my teecher. She kept asking me if i wanted ice cream, even though I kept asking my teacher what I was going to learn today. lots of ice cream. lots and lots.
.......
Had a moment during the clinic this week. A girl around 11,12 ran up to me and hugged me. She was a young one that I had met over three years ago. She is an orphan from the way, scrappy, cute, sassy and funny. After her parents were killed during a bombing she lived with an Uncle who beat her. She fled from Syria and made it here to live with another Aunt.
The neediness and desperateness in her presence to be seen and loved is so palpable. It pains me. I try and lavish on her, looking her in the eyes, speaking kindly and paying her extra attention. She laps it up... like a dry land that needs water. This time i went further and pulled her in and prayed over her. I spoke life over her... and i know it is just one small thing. I know that it so tiny compared to the pain she has endured or the current state of loneliness and longing. But man, I want to give her deep love when I can. To seize that moment and not let the demands of other things distract me from letting her seen and awknowldeged in the place she is in.
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