connecting with you, Fia girl.
Fia.
you have done my mama heart so good as i learn to love and raise and give to you. Your heart explodes with emotion and you run as fast as you can to me to tell me that you love me. In quieter moments you say softly " you are the best mama, ever. "
and as we emerge from the season where i felt completely at a loss of what to do with you...and unsure of how to tame your roaring river, i watch you closely and realize that reading you is uncharted territory. the only guidebook to you is... you. time with you, logging hours playing doll house, and having you point out anna and elsa details in their book.
When the dust settles and our visitors leave, or we settle in after a busy weekend, i smile to myself as you orbit around me. you are always close. i keep waiting for you to run off and create worlds like your older sister. to spend your days singing alone in a room or flipping through books...you do those things...some.
But mostly you come close. You crave cuddles and kisses. you don't need stimuli, outings, even me creating memorable moments. what you really need is hugging, kissing, words flowing out of how much I love you. that is our MO.
i watch you do the same with Baby Hope, spend minute after minute hugging her, giving her smooches. playing with her. entertaining her. you love the in-your-face interactions... the more goofy and silly the better.
your legs. your little toes. i love this view because it means we are snuggled close. you are melting into your mama and i am letting my heart store up these moments.
doll house. you want to direct the theme, conversation , and even the dolls i play with. I let you sometimes knowing that i am being your little sis for once, letting you be the layla girl.
but we also create stories together, sea monsters and panda's on see saws and eating dinner - well just skipping to cake.
We dressed up and went on a cinderella-fancy-nancy outing with Marmee and while you loved the idea of it, and to be included, you have told me every day, multiple times a day, " mama, i not like cinderella. her mean sisters tore her dwess, mama. da dwess her mama gave her. "
I loved the spin you took that once we released from the movie you wanted to tuck your little elbows in and run around the mall...you felt fast, powerful, and beautiful in your sparkling costume with a cape.
The mystery of you is so intriguing and spending time with you can be so magical. You can be brave, silly, hilarious observations, and fiercely loving to your friends and sisters. When layla dropped her balloon and you jumped out of the car as soon as we stopped and all you could think about was getting that balloon for her. you forgot your own balloon in the process.
you have done my mama heart so good as i learn to love and raise and give to you. Your heart explodes with emotion and you run as fast as you can to me to tell me that you love me. In quieter moments you say softly " you are the best mama, ever. "
and as we emerge from the season where i felt completely at a loss of what to do with you...and unsure of how to tame your roaring river, i watch you closely and realize that reading you is uncharted territory. the only guidebook to you is... you. time with you, logging hours playing doll house, and having you point out anna and elsa details in their book.
When the dust settles and our visitors leave, or we settle in after a busy weekend, i smile to myself as you orbit around me. you are always close. i keep waiting for you to run off and create worlds like your older sister. to spend your days singing alone in a room or flipping through books...you do those things...some.
But mostly you come close. You crave cuddles and kisses. you don't need stimuli, outings, even me creating memorable moments. what you really need is hugging, kissing, words flowing out of how much I love you. that is our MO.
i watch you do the same with Baby Hope, spend minute after minute hugging her, giving her smooches. playing with her. entertaining her. you love the in-your-face interactions... the more goofy and silly the better.
We dressed up and went on a cinderella-fancy-nancy outing with Marmee and while you loved the idea of it, and to be included, you have told me every day, multiple times a day, " mama, i not like cinderella. her mean sisters tore her dwess, mama. da dwess her mama gave her. "
I loved the spin you took that once we released from the movie you wanted to tuck your little elbows in and run around the mall...you felt fast, powerful, and beautiful in your sparkling costume with a cape.
The mystery of you is so intriguing and spending time with you can be so magical. You can be brave, silly, hilarious observations, and fiercely loving to your friends and sisters. When layla dropped her balloon and you jumped out of the car as soon as we stopped and all you could think about was getting that balloon for her. you forgot your own balloon in the process.
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