your mama badge shining...

it is true that babies usher in this wave of love that you did not think possible.

 and while it is so very different than falling in love, of romance and fluttering feelings of being some one's beauty...

 there are waves of love that feel unreal. how can you explain it, how can you define it. how can you prepare for the hours you spend thinking of your babies, staring at them. how their small milestones mean everything to you and you have to hold back from talking about them.all.the.time.

 how there are moments, most days, that you wish time could freeze because watching that 3 year old dance with no inhibitions and creating  moves is about the most hilarious and beautiful thing you could ever want. and holding your happy snugly babe close in her pajamas and her adoring glances up at you...

 but you earn those moments. you really do. you get all types of glory moments because you carried them for 40+weeks, you lose sleep as you feed them, your heart and your body grow and stretch to points you think might just about pop...and yet you rally.

 Hope has been sick this week and it kicks me into mama badge mode. These are the moments that mom's get those badges, they are hard earned.

                                       
  She has had fever, refusing to eat, screams when i set her down

  I worry it is her ears, but we rule that out. I worry it is something serious but then she starts to eat...Laundry piles up, emails go unanswered, things stack up that were well intentioned for me to do, as  I tote my sick babe around. My three year old start's acting out because she wants mama down on the ground playing with her.

 and i just re assure myself that this too shall pass and babe gets mama. that is what she needs and that is what i can give. even if i am fighting off a head cold and don't feel well, this little short lapse of time i get with my sweet bundle of chub...take it while i can.