Mama Badge

Well, this transition to three has been…character building. 

With all the desire of having a third little heart, third squishy body, third little person that will add life, love, and laughter to our family swelling in my mama heart… there was no real way to anticipate the transition.

  Well let’s just say I have earned some mama badges. Hope has introduced me into a world of “baby” that I did not know previously. Pacing back and forth and patting her in the middle of the night for about 45 minutes…most nights…holding her all the time, cause having her cry is just not worth it…using and I mean really using my rocking chair…wearing her in my wrap for long periods most days…having to pace, bounce, hold a baby who is crying and won’t stop no matter what I do.

 I mean I feel like I have been initiated.   I am so thankful that we have gotten to the source of her discomfort- and she has calmed down tremendously. I have stopped eating anything dairy, and she has reflux, which some medicine is really helping.

But even with diet changes and medications, she is still just a babe that loves loves loves her mama and those extra comfort measures.  So this mama is learning…learning to enjoy her little breath close to my heart as she is wrapped close. To make the most of moments when she is deep enough in sleep I can put her down. To choose to care about the “things that matter most” and not get overwhelmed by kitchen, cleaning house, dinner, dishes, laundrey….to sink into rest and peace when I need to rock her and not allow myself to feel restless.

  Also learning how to connect with Layla and Sophia with a babe wrapped onto me. Hope and I have been playing a lot of monster hide-n-seek these days.  We pretended to be a gymnastic coach together, and hosted a royal ball.  No matter if my back is sore…this mama has to keep on keeping on.

  Moments come and go that feel completely overwhelming. But that is the truth…they come in a piercing urgent way and then go in the same instance. So just learning to choose peace. Choose grace and wade through some of these days searching for just a few beautiful moments…