epic stories and mommydom

   i have known for a long time that my journey into motherhood...and as a mother would not be typical.

i wanted to live an epic story and although i loved children with all my heart, they brought me more joy and laughter, peace and fun than most anything in life- i did not picture myself with children.


 my heart's desires were too radical for that. how could i be: mom and disaster relief team? swat teams and mom don't seem to really roll off the tongue. there seems to be something inherent in mother hood with settling into a home, nesting, having babies and baking.

  But the One who created me, every fiber of my being, every crevice of my heart...He knows. He knew that i was made to mother and to live an epic story that only He could unfold before me. I can be willing, i can have the drive, the fire...but He opens up every door for me when i trust.

  So here i am changing diapers, folding clothes, grocery shopping with bright eyes starring at me, sharing in arabic, giving clothes to refugees, building relationships with dynamic lebanese leaders...in and out i shift.

  Today i was on the phone for awhile nailing down details for a medical clinic- transportation, ordering medications, and simultaneously flipping through a Winnie-the-pooh book for my 1 year old.



 and even though i had read and sang, cuddled and kissed my little Fia Bia all morning, i felt the twinge of guilt that i should be more focused on her. have a cleaner house. for goodness sake i have visitors coming tomorrow.

  but the truth is, i am calling my girls into this epic story with me. where we have people in our home and we love on them, and give away joy, peace, and healing...and of course food. where we pack our little selves up and go visit even if we would rather have a cozy day together. where we give away out of our abundance ( clothes and toys) to little children who don't have anything.



where mama is going to sing, dance, imagine, create moments and memories for our family all the time. but this same mama is going to be gone all day distributing clothes and food, praying for the hurting and desperate, and come home to a happy home and make omelets for dinner. our family's core is going to be one that is a well that just gives away. as we drink deeply the love of Jesus, we will give that love away...

  i want to bring the Kingdom of Heaven everywhere i set my feet.

                  and i want to raise up history makers.

 
    tall order, i know. but i have been understanding, truly understanding, that i just have to fall into His grace. Walk through the doors He opens.

                      

 He is leading me into this- the motherhood journey. and the Kingdom adventure.