heating up

i don't know why i let you surprise me, Beirut. i think it is because even with all  your unpredictability...all  your silly traffic violations and crazy antics, you have turned into my normal. this family's normal. cars parked in the middle of main streets, scooters loaded up with whole families, cars squeezing by you in every direction...i have become used to my video-game like experiences behind the wheel.

   i had grown used to unpredictable parking and detours and traffic jams. things that felt so overwhelming had become to feel normal and i applauded myself on the adjustments.

   but now with our neighbors having more and more violence in their villages and streets in Syria...there are trickles here in Lebanon of unrest and i let that surprise me. i was taken off guard.

  unrest as a mom is so different. there is something so deep inside us that wants to protect our babes. and i find myself taken in one more level to the life that these sweet, generous, incredible people lead. i ache with them for peace and stability. i long for people to stop burning tires and threatening with violence.

  and as i let up prayers of protection and safety and peace...i know i am one of hundreds...but i also know that He hears. that He has sent angels guarding over us, and with that i let my heart settle.

  been reading Psalm 91 over our family...

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.^[a]
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, 
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare 
    and from the deadly pestilence. 
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge; 
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways; 
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he^[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him. 
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation. ”